John Auville Archive
Let's all curb our enthusiasm over Washington Nationals phenom rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg. Granted, it's hard to contain the buzz after his numbers from his first two spring training starts: 5 innings pitched, 4 strikeouts, 1 walk, 0 runs allowed. But let's remember that he's still just a 21-year-old ... Read More
I really thought Terps fans were more highly evolved, but the ugly display following this week's home win over Duke proved me wrong. Have the Terps faithful joined the ranks of the West Virginia Mountaineers fans as far as being out of control and classless? Will Debbie Yow need ... Read More
I was convinced the Washington Wizards 2009-2010 season couldn't possibly get any worse...clearly, for the first time, I was wrong. What are the Wiz doing, getting hot after the trade deadline and winning 3 of their last 4 games since reconstituting the roster? Where are the typical lackluster performances ... Read More
Somebody please wake me up when the NCAA Tournament starts. What is a sports fan supposed to do over the next month? Watch the Nordic Combined event from the 2010 Olympics? Here are some good combinations: pizza and beer, Jack and Coke, chips and salsa. Here is a bad ... Read More
Yes, I made it back from Miami to DC before the blizzard hit. I wanted to get out and kiss the ground after the pilot made his smooth landing on one of America's shortest runways at Reagan National Airport yesterday. I celebrated by stuffing my face with an Auntie ... Read More
With the 2009-2010 Washington Wizards season in a 14-30 death spiral, derailed by Gilbert Arenas' incredibly stupid practical joke of bringing firearms into the locker room, it's now time to look ahead and see where Agent Zero will be playing ball in the 2010-2011 season. As talented as he ... Read More
Alright, I'm pumped up about the Caps' 6-3 win over the Pittsburgh Penguins last night at The Igloo, and for good reason. The Caps are 8-2 in their last 10 games, lead the Eastern Conference with 70 points, and are making a mockery of the Southeast Division, which they ... Read More
It's now officially time to throw my hat back into the game-picking ring; unfortunately, my last foray didn't turn out so well. On the Junkies show earlier this week, I claimed the Caps over the Tampa Bay Lightning was "the bet of the decade." I guess it was if ... Read More
Alright, enough with all the Gilbert Arenas jokes already..."Did you hear that Coach Saunders was changing Gil's position from point guard to..." If I have to fill in the blanks for you, or if you think that joke is funny, we can no longer be friends. Bottom line on ... Read More
With 2009 almost in the rear view mirror, tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I'll be in the VIP section of an exclusive club, ordering $500 bottles of Cristal as the ball drops in New York City. And if you believe that, I have about a dozen boxes of ... Read More
We're neck deep in a weekend blizzard and Christmas is just a week away, so it's time to break out the Naughty and Nice list for 2009... NAUGHTY... Tiger Woods - His was clearly the biggest fall from grace for an athlete since OJ Simpson; it's safe to say ... Read More
The snow is coming down for the first time this winter, holiday shopping is ramping up at the local malls, and I'm itching to pick more games...time for another installment of Cakes' Weekend Winners! I've got two college picks and three from the pros, so let's get to it: ... Read More
The Cavaliers-Wizards game ended nearly 24 hours ago, and I'm pretty sure LeBron James is still whining to the refs, looking for a call. When does it end? Before I get neck-deep into the LeBron hating, let's give some props to the Wizards on a much needed 108-91 home ... Read More
Time to look into my crystal ball and pick out the winners for Week 9 of the NFL slate. In case you've been living in a cave for the past few years, I am the world's worst handicapper; can't pick a winner to save my life. Just go against ... Read More
Halloween is less than a week away, and I couldn't be happier. The NFL is in full swing, the NHL is heating up, and NBA hoops gets under way this week - Clearly the best time of the year! You may not be dressing up this Halloween, but plenty ... Read More
It's official...I've completely lost control of my life. My sports viewing/rooting habits have been forever altered by the proliferation of fantasy sports, and it's driving me crazy. You know it's a sad state of affairs when you streamline your NFL fantasy football team collection from six to four, and ... Read More
Take that, all of you Ralph Friedgen haters. You can imagine that thought (or maybe one with a few choice four letter words) was running through Maryland Terrapins football coach Ralph Friedgen's head after the Terps upset Clemson 24-21 at Byrd Stadium on Saturday. I'll be honest, I thought ... Read More
Gotta get back on the horse after sitting out Week 2 in the NFL. I'm adopting a "Less is More" policy since my pedestrian 7-8 won-loss record for my Week 1 NFL picks. I'm going with just seven games in Week 3, shooting for a 5-2 record, and I ... Read More
I know, most people reading this blog are laughing uncontrollably with me trying to pick winners for the Week 1 NFL matchups. But seasoned Junkies listeners know there is a method to the madness - the "Always Bet Against Cakes" legend continues to grow. All you need to do ... Read More
Let me get this disclaimer out of the way right now...I like Baltimore, I really do. But I've been spending entirely too much time in Charm City over the past month. If I go back again before the end of September, just buy me a pair of the awful ... Read More
There is no way to put this gently, or to sugarcoat it...Plaxico Burress is an idiot. He basically flushed his career away so that he could look like a tough guy by bringing a gun into a New York City nightclub in November 2008 and proceeded to shoot himself ... Read More
I really do feel sorry for Washington Redskins QB Jason Campbell. From the looks of the patchwork offensive line that will allegedly protect him this season, he could be in a prone position for much of the 2009 NFL campaign. I hope he practiced lots of sprinting drills this ... Read More
How has Michael Vick not found a home in the NFL yet? Is the talent level at the quarterback position at an all-time high? That's laughable, considering some of these names that are currently drawing backup-QB paychecks: Todd Bouman, Brian Brohm, David Carr, Charlie Frye, and Bruce Gradkowski. Trust ... Read More
It's really tough to be a Washington Nationals fan these days. It's not even August yet, and the Nats are a staggering 39 games under.500, at 27-66. That can't even be considered a sub-.500 record; that's a subterranean spot in the standings. I think I'd have to pack the ... Read More
The shocking news that Steve McNair had been killed in an apparent murder-suicide in Nashville this past Saturday is only the latest in a grim string of gun-related killings that have plagued the NFL in the past decade: -Carolina Panthers running back Fred Lane was gunned down by his ... Read More
Call me a homer, but I'm a huge fan of the trade that Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld orchestrated yesterday, shipping the #5 pick in the NBA Draft and a collection of bench stiffs to the Minnesota Timberwolves for guards Mike Miller and Randy Foye. Are the Wizards guard-heavy after ... Read More
Well, this is shaping up to be the worst summer of my life, and it's only mid-June. Let me take you back less than two weeks ago in the Always Bet Against Cakes time machine, and check out a line from my post, Greatest Weekend Ever: "Good night, Pittsburgh...IT'S ... Read More
Short of a weekend when I cash a $100 million Mega Millions lottery ticket, this past weekend was the Greatest of All Time for me. LeBron James is eliminated from the NBA Playoffs, and the Pittsburgh Penguins are down 0-2 in the Stanley Cup Finals? Are you kidding me? ... Read More
Big surprise, there won't be a Triple Crown winner again this year, after Rachel Alexandra won last week's Preakness Stakes at Pimlico. And I couldn't be happier, because horse racing is dumb. There hasn't been a Triple Crown winner since Affirmed in 1978. Know what was happening in 1978? ... Read More
How could the instant classic Caps-Pens series not have reached a Game 7? This has been the most amazing Stanley Cup playoff series I can remember, and it comes to a head tonight at Verizon Center. This Game 7 is probably the toughest ticket in DC in the past ... Read More
I know that hate is a strong word, and I try to use it sparingly. But, I do reserve a healthy dose of hatred for certain individuals and teams. I hate former Wizard Kwame Brown for being the worst #1 overall NBA draft pick in the past 20 years. ... Read More
How great was Capitals' goalie Simeon Varlamov last night at Madison Square Garden? I assumed he would fold under the pressure of his first NHL road playoff start. Instead, he turned in a masterful 33-save shutout performance, keeping the Caps alive in the series, trailing the New York Rangers ... Read More
I'm sorry, but The Masters is a snoozefest if Tiger Woods isn't one of the top five names on the leaderboard midway through the 3rd round. I know my show mates Lurch and EB think that last statement borders on heresy, but it's the truth. Kenny Perry...Chad Campbell...Angel Cabrera...Tim ... Read More
I've got to tell my 12-year-old son to stop hitting the books on traditional subjects in middle school, like math, English, and social studies. He's got to start boning up on zone defenses, a full-court press, and how to execute a pick-and-roll. My mission in life should be to ... Read More
It looks as if Alabama has caught up to the rest of the country. In a historic year where we have witnessed the inauguration of the first African-American president, the University of Alabama has handed over the reins of their basketball program to an African-American coach for the first ... Read More
Congratulations to the sixteen college basketball teams that made it through the first weekend of March Madness (hope I don't owe the NCAA a thousand clams for using that phrase without their permission). While it's great for these programs to make it to the Sweet 16, their ultimate goal ... Read More
The Terps are in - After two wins in the ACC tournament, there should be no doubt the Maryland Terrapins are deserving to be in the field of 65. With 20 wins, and signature victories over Michigan State, North Carolina, and Wake Forest, the Terps' resume is solid enough ... Read More
Ray Lewis agreed to a contract that will allow him to retire as a Baltimore Raven. It was the best possible ending for Lewis, who along with his management team, had overestimated his worth on the free agent market. Pretty smart to upset Ravens ownership a few weeks ago, ... Read More
1) Lance Armstrong - Here's a bulletin.....cycling is boring. I don't care that he won seven straight Tour de France races; he could have done it riding on his head and I wouldn't tune in to watch it. I applaud him for winning his battle with cancer, and his ... Read More
You think your job is tough...try being an NFL running back that's 30 or older these days. Never has it been more apparent that it's a young man's position in the NFL. Quarterbacks, kickers, punters, linemen and wide receivers can play well into their thirties, and in some cases, ... Read More
Props to MJ.....Not! Another brilliant personnel move by super-savvy Charlotte Bobcats Manager of Basketball Operations Michael "Err" Jordan. Lost in the shuffle of the overhyped Lakers-Cavaliers tilt this past Sunday was news of Bobcats forward Adam Morrison being traded to the L.A. Lakers for journeyman forward Vladimir Radmanovic. It's ... Read More
I hope Washington sports fans realize what they have in Washington Capitals superstar Alex Ovechkin - the greatest hockey player on Earth in his prime. Currently leading the NHL in goals, with 36, and third in points, with 75, Ovechkin is powering the Capitals to what will hopefully be ... Read More
Super Bowl Blues - Why two weeks between the Conference Championship game and The Super Bowl? I've already seen all of the "Kurt Warner.....Resurrected" and "Larry Fitzgerald's Dad is a Sportswriter" stories that I can handle. Get rid of the extra week already.....plus, it delays the riveting Pro Bowl ... Read More
The good ol' boy network has disappeared from the NFL head coaching ranks, and it's about time. Take a look at NFL sidelines next season, and you'll witness the paradigm shift. Young and obscure has replaced old and established. Out with coaching icons Holmgren, Shanahan, and Dungy. In with ... Read More
Philadelphia Eagles fans don't know how good they have it. Since the day he was drafted in April 1999, Donovan McNabb has been getting an earful from the savages known as Eagles fans. The Philly faithful wanted to hear RB Ricky Williams' name called with the 2nd overall pick ... Read More
What are General Manager Ernie Grunfeld and the rest of the Washington Wizards' front office braintrust thinking? Bringing Gilbert Arenas back to slog through a burned-out husk of a 2009 season is akin to bailing out your flooded basement with a Dixie cup. It just doesn't make any sense. ... Read More
The Wizards get lucky and land the #1 overall pick in the 2009 NBA Draft. Wow, you know your team is struggling when they win 2 out of 3 games to IMPROVE to 6-24 on the season. The Wiz should come crashing back to Earth in their next three ... Read More
I know it's the holidays, and I'm supposed to be cheerful, but LeBron James makes me sick. I'm a lifelong Bullets/Wizards fan, and seeing LeBron toy with us and drive a stake through our hearts year after year is getting really old. I realize I'm a glutton for punishment, ... Read More
Le'Ron McClain. He's not a flashy guy and probably wouldn't stand out in a crowd walking around Baltimore's Inner Harbor, but Le'Ron McClain is carrying the Baltimore Ravens to a probable AFC Wild Card berth in the 2008 NFL Playoffs. McClain's 22-carry, 139-yard rushing performance Saturday night, including an ... Read More
Hope everybody is doing well this holiday season and rooting fervently, like I am, for the Wizards to go winless the rest of the season. If you're going to suck, do it with some flair and lose 75 games. But with the Wizards' luck, a team like the Pacers will ... Read More
John "Cakes" Auville grew up in Bowie, Maryland along with J.P. and Eric. John went to Eleanor Roosevelt High School in Greenbelt along with J.P. and played tennis. John then attended Towson University where he majored in communications. Though he served as a college intern for Channel 4's George ... Read More
