A team that posted the worst record in club history is bound to be subjected to the New Year's Eve ball-dropping joke that I repeat every winter.
I'll be above it today.
'Tis the season for clichéd resolution articles and I'm not above them. For example:
Jonathan Villar: Don't make the first or last out trying to steal third base.
Villar: Don't be passive on the bases. You can figure out how to balance the two.
Trey Mancini: Get your Defensive Runs Saved (DRS) closer to the minus-1 registered in 2017 than the minus-12 in 2018. Also, avoid jamming or slamming your knee into the fence in foul territory. That sucker is out to hurt you.
Cedric Mullins: Improve your production from the right side of the plate and avoid giving the Orioles reason to eliminate "switch-hitter" from your resume. A .156/.296/.156 slash line in 55 plate appearances against left-handers was a continuation of the imbalanced splits in the minors.
Chris Davis: Adjust your approach at the plate, absorbing whatever data is presented to you by the new regime, and don't worry if the results aren't immediate. And get out of your own head.
Mychal Givens: Be the closer in 2019, for however many save opportunities are presented to you. It shouldn't be a heavy load, but establish yourself. Also, cut down on the 3.5 walks per nine innings and reduce the ninth-inning drama.
Tanner Scott: Force manager Brandon Hyde to consider you as the closer. Otherwise, become a dominant set-up man, which is more likely to happen with heavy usage of your slider. It's a lethal complement to your upper-90s heater.
Miguel Castro: Throw strikes. Averaging 5.2 walks per nine innings again won't make you trustworthy to the manager, pitching coach, bullpen coach or anyone in a rebuilt front office that has no attachment to you.
Brandon Hyde: Get your own gnome.
Mike Elias: Avoid being asked about Adam Jones every 10 minutes. Good luck. And hope that the WWE reference isn't repeated to you just as often.
Dylan Bundy: Cut down on the home runs. Way down from the 41 allowed last season. And make yourself available to start every day game. It won't be easy, of course, but neither is giving up carbs and lots of people are vowing to do it as one of their resolutions.
Luis Ortiz: Give up carbs.
Mark Trumbo: Make yourself a trade chip at the non-waiver deadline and finish out your contract with a contender. You can decide later if you want to put off retirement.
Donnie Hart: Get lefties out. You didn't want to be typecast as strictly a specialist, but every team can use one in its bullpen and you might stay off the shuttle.
Branden Kline: Keep trending upward.
Pedro Araujo: Stay in the majors for longer than the first 17 days. Otherwise, you could disappear like Anthony Santander.
Anthony Santander: Reappear.
Hunter Harvey: Stay healthy.
Dillon Tate: Stay in the same organization and stop being the prospect who keeps getting traded. Also, keep that shoulder sound.
Jimmy Yacabonis: Take on a greater role than 26th man. Though it keeps getting you to the majors, it doesn't keep you there.
Yefry RamÃrez: Find a way to make everyone know that your first name is pronounced "Jefry" without actually changing the spelling of it.
Joey Rickard: Pick on someone else besides the Rays.
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