Because You Asked - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

The Orioles are laboring on offense, hurting for healthy starting pitching and unable to fully trust their bullpen. Otherwise, there’s nothing to see here.

They’re also only two games behind in the division and are first in the wild card chase.

I say “only” knowing that it’s a genuine concern compared to leading the pack, which they’ve done for much of the season. But no one is running away with a division. No one is playing .600 ball. There isn't a dominant team.

The Dodgers are the closest at .595 and are 43-23 at home, and the Orioles arrived yesterday for a three-game series beginning tonight. But otherwise, really, there’s nothing to see here.

There are questions in the mailbag that I cannot ignore. Time again to drum up a sequel to the beloved 2008 original. You ask, I attempt to answer, sometimes the same inquiry comes as if I’m typing in invisible ink, sometimes I playfully ridicule.

I edit for style, lengthy, clarity and brevity.

I’m kidding, of course.

Also, my mailbag hits go-ahead grand slams and yours tries to order a Grand Slam breakfast at Waffle House.

What happened to this team after June?
Myriad injuries had to take a toll at some point. Think this team would be better with Kyle Bradish, John Means, Tyler Wells, Danny Coulombe, Jordan Westburg and Grayson Rodriguez? Zach Eflin could return when he’s eligible on Sunday, but those lost starts also hurt. The offense shuts down for extended periods. Guys are slumping and pressing. It’s a combination of things.

Any word on the ABS system for next year? The umps are all over the place calling balls and strikes.
It does seem worse than ever, though we may be paying closer attention to it. And we have more data to back up what we’re seeing. There’s also the strike zone box. How did we ever live without it? For all we know, Ken Kaiser and others back in the day were just as inconsistent. Anyway, back to your question. Commissioner Rob Manfred said during All-Star week that robot umps were unlikely in 2025 due to lingering “technical issues.”

Who were the O's Minor League Player and Pitcher of the Month for July?
Aron Estrada and Kevin Velasco.

When the Orioles travel, what non-uniform personnel also travel? Equipment personnel among others I would guess.
I’m not on the flights, but analytics crew, traveling secretary, training staff, public relations, social media.

Will Jackson Holliday start platooning at second base with Ramón Urías down the stretch?
It’s possible if Holliday isn’t hitting, Urías stays hot and Jordan Westburg returns to play third base. But we’re still in August and a lot can happen before we’re “down the stretch.”

Do you see any issues with Corbin Burnes getting worn down? I'm a little concerned with two subpar starts (for him) the last two games.
The Orioles are providing an extra day of rest. I don’t think it’s about wearing down. He’s used to this workload. But there’s certainly been a dip in the second half with his 5.75 ERA and 1.377 WHIP in seven starts compared to 2.43 and 1.045 in 19 starts before the break.

I feel like a life-sized Colton Cowser poster sponsored by the American Dairy Association (like with Cal Ripken Jr.) is not a moo point. Thoughts?
Nice reference to the Ripken poster. That was a popular giveaway. Seems like a no-brainer with Cowser, right? Might have to wait until 2025 since the Orioles already had the T-shirt promotion. Moove that idea to the back burner.

Is there any guesstimate of a time frame for when Tyler Wells will be ready to pitch next year, assuming his rehab goes off without a hitch?
The Orioles loathe time frames because it’s just too risky to predict exact return dates. You’re setting up everyone to be disappointed, and there are so many factors in play that can alter it. Wells had the internal brace procedure in mid-June that offers a shorter recovery time than the standard Tommy John. The average recovery from Tommy John is approximately 14-to-16 months, while it’s about 12 months for the procedure Wells underwent.

Now that JJ McCarthy is out for the year, do you think Sam Darnold will reclaim his former glory and lead the mighty Norseman to the promised land?
I think there’s a better chance that Fran Tarkenton makes a comeback at 84 and does it. They're long overdue for another Super Bowl loss.

I'm on the kid's side, but should we have, in hindsight, kept Jackson Holliday in Norfolk for the full year and just let him get really dialed in? Especially since he's trying to learn a new position.
Hindsight is 20-20, right? But we would have been denied a Eutaw Street grand slam and bases-clearing double. This experience is good for him in the long run. It’s just tough when it happens with the team fighting to win the division or at least the first wild card. There’s gonna be second-guessing if you keep him at Norfolk or bring him up. I’d only second-guess why it took so long to get a Golden Tee Golf game at Camden Yards.

Any chance Kriske provides Krispy Cream donuts for the press box or team?
Definitely not the press box. Anyone remember former Orioles catcher Dave Dunkin’? OK, let’s move on.  

Have you heard of any discussions on possibly moving the left-field wall in a bit? Lately it seems only the Orioles have trouble hitting over it.
The wall is staying where it is, which is fine with the pitchers who aren’t surrendering cheap home runs. And the hitters aren’t getting hurt by it as much this season. It only seems that way.

If the Orioles had to field a Quidditch team what would your starting seven look like? (Actives only, otherwise Westburg would be a definite for Beater). Mine would be: Seeker-Gunnar; Keeper-McCann; Beaters- Cowser and Cano; Chasers- Burnes, Suarez and Santander.
I only understood about five words of this. I’m the wrong person to ask. I had to Google “Quidditch,” which I thought was something real men don’t eat. Sorry.

If you could sign one of Anthony Santander or Corbin Burnes, who would it be?
Oh man, this is a toughie. I would have said “Burnes” without hesitation but the landscape has changed a bit with Santander headed to a 40-homer season and the outfield logjam thinning via the Austin Hays and Kyle Stowers trades. As I’ve stated previously, we also don’t know Cedric Mullins’ status for 2025. We don’t know if Heston Kjerstad is more DH than OF. I think a true No. 1 for the rotation still ranks first, though you could argue that the Orioles might already have one if Grayson Rodriguez keeps trending as he is. I’d argue that losing Kyle Bradish to Tommy John brings more urgency in keeping Burnes or getting another top-of-the-rotation guy. Here’s a thought, and don't yell at me: Sign ‘em both.

For those not in the know, why don’t you go to Rogers Centre to cover games? Are you band from it? You don’t have your passport? Too loyal to Southwest Airlines who does not fly there?
I can’t get past “band.” By the way, Pearl Jam is one of my favorite banneds.

That’s your answer.
The first part of it, Mr. Conversational. I like the city. The ballpark is fine except the press box was moved so far down the left field line that the foul pole blocks my view. My issue, beyond the Southwest thing you mentioned and how Air Canada’s slogan is, “We’re gonna cancel your flight at 3 a.m. and reschedule you for the following month,” which is bad for their business and also too wordy, is that the whole customs process is a stresser for me. You don’t know if it’s gonna take you 10 minutes or 10 hours, which necessitates an extremely early arrival. I’d much rather do the other division cities. But the playoffs and Opening Day 2025 are exceptions to my Canada rule.

Do you think the time off between the end of the regular season and the first game of the Division Series impacted the team negatively in Game 1 versus Texas last year?
I thought this one was old one, but nope. That’s a theory, for sure. But there’s also the inexperience factor, some poor starts, John Means' injury, running into a hot team that won the World Series. Stuff like that. What’s the alternative? Play for the home wild card and don’t get a break?

Does Adam Jones introduce his wife as "This is me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones?" I heard she has a thing going on.
I hate that I laughed at that.

Do we have a reasonable chance of re-signing Corbin Burnes or is he going to play closer to his home in Arizona?
I wish they'd re-sign someone who wants to play closer to my home and cut down on my travel. Anyway, there’s always a chance. Money talks, my friend. Sometimes I have to turn up the volume on the TV to drown it out. And it can be a little judgy – what I’m wearing, dishes in the sink, the last time I showered. Proximity to home would likely be a factor, as you wrote. He’s flown home multiple times to be with his family. Not that his wife will be expecting twins again next year – probably not – but pitching on the West Coast has to be appealing to him.

I've never been to Dodger Stadium. Do they have a plaque or a statue commemorating the day Opera singer Enrico Palazzo saved Queen Elizabeth II from an assassination attempt?
They really should, and I’ll bring it up at the next meeting. Also, Sir Elton John in his glitter uniform. Or Seranthony Domínguez in a glitter uniform.

What is the latest with Heston Kjerstad?
He’s still on the concussion injured list but doing some baseball activities. There’s time to get him playing again and under consideration for a call-up on the expanded September roster, but that’s far from certain. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind, you don’t pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger and you don’t mess around with concussions.  (RIP Jim Croce).

Is there a season for waiver wire claims or does Mike Elias have until Oct 1?
Elias can make waiver claims until the final out. However, a player won’t be eligible for the postseason if he isn’t in the organization on Sept. 1.

How is your shoulder?
Turns out, that popping sound I heard when lifting my bag with my right arm at the Dallas airport wasn’t a good thing. Who knew? Thanks for asking. You know how I hate to burden everyone with my problems.

What was your fondest Nick Markakis memory, whether on or off the field?
Markakis had his thumb shattered by a CC Sabathia pitch in 2012 that kept him off the playoff roster. Because of it, no one was more appreciative of winning the AL East in 2014 than Markakis. My lasting image is being on the field and seeing Markakis staring at the scoreboard announcing the Orioles as division champs. The look on his face. Very emotional. Also, he got pied and held his son with whipped cream covering his face. A couldn’t snap a photo fast enough. I probably still have it stored in my phone.

Will you be willing and able to meet the SOR-Colorado Branch at the August 30th game?
I didn’t know it was a thing. I’ll sure try, though it’s gonna be harder on the road than at Camden Yards. Either way, I love that it’s happening.

Any idea if Mike Elias kicked the tires on Jack Flaherty ‘24 version? Or was he not going to go there again? Also, have you ever kicked actual tires of an actual car you considered buying? Did the tire kick affect your decision?
Kicking the tires on Flaherty would be a good way to describe it. There was some level of interest, from what I’ve heard and read. I’m assuming that kicking actual tires on the showroom floor is frowned upon. Never understood the purpose anyway. Of course, I know very little about cars, but I did like The Cars back in the day. “Dangerous Type” is one of my all-time favorite songs. But I digress …

It's interesting to read about Jackson Holliday's prowess on video golf. And speaking of prowess in other sports, what other sports have players excelled even at a pro level?
Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders immediately come to mind. Ever heard of ‘em? Ryan Minor was drafted by MLB and the NBA. Tim Stoddard was the starting forward on the 1974 national champion North Carolina State basketball team. I’ll also mention Kenny Lofton, who played basketball for an Arizona team that reached the Final Four in 1988. John Lucas was one heck of a point guard and collegiate tennis player. Also, Adley Rutschman is willing to kick field goals for you if the whole catching thing doesn’t work out. But he won't kick tires. (That's a call back.)

With Tony Taters hitting .235, will his average have any effect on his next contract?  I'm old school and still think batting average is an important metric.
Lucky for Santander, the industry as a whole puts less emphasis on it. His .302 on-base percentage and career .306 mark might bring more concern, but he’s registered a .519 slugging percentage that’s the highest of his career in a non-pandemic shortened season. And yeah, those home runs coming from both sides of the plate. He's gettin' paid.

Who was your favorite Orioles TV/radio play-by-play announcer? I say "was" to exclude current ones from consideration.
I grew up on Chuck Thompson and Bill O’Donnell. No offense to anyone else. We’ve been fortunate to have so many quality broadcasters. But they set the bar for me.

Why do reporters ask questions to players that they can't answer? For example, "Are you worried that you might be traded?"
It’s better than, “How’s your groin?”

Why hasn't Elias found this year's Mountain or Cano?
They don’t grow on trees. Seranthony Domínguez has mostly been good except for those four home runs, including two walk-offs within three days. Yeah, except for that. I want to see more of Gregory Soto. He’s had two awful outings that accounted for all eight runs and six scoreless appearances. Five in a row. He’s pitched once since Aug. 17. Is there something going on here? Worth checking on, but I’m not with the team again until Colorado.

Does Mr. Splash need to carry flood insurance?
He’s hosed if he doesn’t.

With our lack of production at the plate he may need drought coverage.
Hey, whose mailbag is this anyway? Also, not a question. And probably a good place to stop.

Are there more eyes in the world or more legs?
Um … what? Yeah, this is definitely a good place to stop.