If you sense that I'm giving you a quizzical look this morning, well, scroll down for verification.
Or maybe the headline gave it away.
This is the latest coronavirus edition. We could use the distraction and a few smiles.
Extra credit awarded for expanding on "none of the above" by making a prediction.
The season is going to start:
A. In June
B. In July
C. In 2021
D. None of the above
Games will be played:
A. Exclusively in Arizona
B. In Florida and Arizona
C. In no more than five states
D. None of the above
Fans will be allowed to attend games:
A. Without any restrictions
B. In much smaller numbers
C. In 2021
D. None of the above
The First-Year Player Draft will consist of:
A. Only five rounds
B. Only 10 rounds
C. The full 40 rounds
D. None of the above
The Orioles will use their first draft pick on:
A. Georgia pitcher Emerson Hancock
B. Arizona State first baseman Spencer Torkelson
C. Vanderbilt third baseman/outfielder Austin Martin
D. None of the above
The first Orioles player to hit a home run will be:
A. Renato Núñez
B. Chris Davis
C. Anthony Santander
D. None of the above
The first Orioles pitcher to be credited with a win will be:
A. John Means
B. Alex Cobb
C. Asher Wojciechowski
D. None of the above
The next Oriole to finish in the top three for a major award will be:
A. Means (Cy Young)
B. Trey Mancini (MVP)
C. Adley Rutschman (Rookie of the Year)
D. None of the above
The Orioles' longest winning streak will be:
A. Three games
B. Five games
C. Seven games
D. None of the above
The Orioles' longest losing streak will be:
A. Three games
B. Five games
C. Seven games
D. None of the above
Manager Brandon Hyde will be ejected for:
A. Arguing balls and strikes
B. Arguing a call on the bases
C. Touching his face
D. None of the above
Media assigned to cover games will be instructed to:
A. Leave an empty seat between each writer
B. Send fewer reporters on the road
C. Pray that the cable doesn't go out
D. None of the above
Changes in mound visits will involve:
A. Fewer trips allowed
B. Only managers allowed
C. Notes tied to rocks
D. None of the above
Batters will reach base as long as they don't:
A. Strike out, ground out or fly out
B. Fail to complete their at-bat due to a caught stealing or pickoff
C. Fail to cover their mouths while coughing
D. All of the above
Fielders will be required to:
A. Communicate with each other using signals
B. Avoid approaching the stands
C. Wear gloves on both hands
D. None of the above
Ways to maintain social distancing in games will include:
A. Uncontested stolen bases
B. Batters no longer circling bases after home runs
C. Replacing bench-clearing brawls with nasty tweets
D. None of the above
Team captains will be asked to inject:
A. Leadership
B. Humor
C. Disinfectants
D. None of the above
The Orioles offices will remain closed until:
A. The end of May
B. The end of June
C. Someone figures out how to reverse the Glenn Davis trade
D. None of the above
Masks shouldn't be given to:
A. Non-essential workers
B. People who don't leave the house
C. Ãngel Hernández
D. None of the above
Walk-off home runs will be celebrated with:
A. Congratulatory text messages
B. Gatorade and soap showers at home plate
C. Hand sanitizer pies to the face
D. None of the above
OK, pencils down. And stay safe.
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