Fighting tears, Gonzalez recalls "emotional" final day with Nats

Gio Gonzalez walked into the press conference room at Nationals Park from the home side, strolling through the same door Nats managers past and present emerge from every day. On his head, though, was a navy cap with a gold letter "M" above a sprig of barley. Covering his torso was a hoodie with the script "Brewers" across the front.

It was nearly 11 p.m., the end of a long and strange day that saw Gonzalez watch from the dugout as the Nationals (the team he made 213 starts for over the last seven seasons) lost 4-1 to the Brewers (the team he'll make his next start for) in a game that ended in a downpour.

The 32-year-old lefty had known for hours he was being traded to Milwaukee, a contending club trying to bolster its ragged rotation for the final month of the regular season and beyond. And as the game played out, word had spread to teammates, stadium workers and some fans watching from the stands.

Now here was Gonzalez trying to put into words what this experience was like, fighting back tears while contemplating his final day as a member of the Nationals.

"It was emotional," he said. "It definitely is. ... I grew up here. I had my family here. My wife. My kids. Just sad to see it end."

And then, a pause. After which Gonzalez broke out his trademark smile when contemplating the opportunity now afforded to him to salvage something of a season that had gone wayward all summer.

"But I'm happy," he said. "I'm happy. I'm really happy. I'm getting a second chance to redeem myself. And I think this is a perfect opportunity with a team like the Brewers. What a great lineup, what a great rotation, what a stacked bullpen. I see there's hopefully a brighter future for me here."

Gonzalez had known for some time his future wasn't going to be in Washington. He was going to be a free agent at season's end, no matter what. He just figured he'd throw his final pitch for the Nationals in October, perhaps redeeming himself at long last for his previous postseason struggles.

The lefty may yet get a chance to pitch in the playoffs. But if he does so, he'll do it for a Brewers club trying to catch the Cubs in the National League Central or hang onto its current position as the NL's final wild card squad.

The Nationals? They're back under .500 with only 27 games to go. They've now traded away six veterans in the last month, capped by tonight's deal that will bring minor league catcher/first baseman KJ Harrison and infielder Gilbert Lara from Milwaukee, with the Nats also sending international bonus slot money as part of the deal.

"It sucks to see guys leave, guys that you've played with and got to know, but it's part of the game," said Tanner Roark, who took tonight's loss after allowing three early home runs. "Just going to have to go out there and play your game, and now it's more opportunity for guys to come up here and get their feet wet and learn from being out there on the mound, or being in the infield, or whatever."

Gonzalez's tenure with the Nationals coincided with the franchise's ascension from a perennial last-place club to one that won four division titles in six seasons and owns the majors' second-best record since his arrival in 2012.

He could drive you mad at times when he couldn't find the strike zone and would pace around the mound muttering to himself, his pitch count approaching triple digits before the fifth inning. But at the end of the day, he owned an 86-65 record and 3.62 ERA in 213 starts. The only left-handers in the majors with at least 200 starts since 2012 and a lower ERA: Chris Sale, Cole Hamels and Jon Lester.

"I just wanted to do something notable here in Washington, and I was just grateful to be in four playoff runs, pitch with some of the greats," Gonzalez said. "I think Stephen Strasburg, Max Scherzer, Tanner Roark, Jordan Zimmermann, now we got some young guys that I think are going to carry the torch on and they are going to do wonders for this organization. It was just one of those memories that I had, and I had a great fan base here, could never say anything ever bad, that would make me feel sad or anything. This organization and the fans were incredible. They treated me and my family, they gave me so much when I was here. And I couldn't ask for more."

By quirk of the MLB schedule, Gonzalez was traded while his new team is in town facing his old team. But by quirk of his own throwing schedule, he won't pitch in this series. His turn in the rotation doesn't come up until Monday, and Milwaukee manager Craig Counsell wouldn't even guarantee his newest hurler will pitch until midweek.

Gonzalez sounded just fine about having a few days to get acclimated to his new surroundings.

"I think it might be a good thing I don't pitch here," he said. "I don't want my emotions to kick in. I don't want to get teary eyed every at-bat, mostly because I can't hit the ball right now. It'd be nice to kind of like enjoy that moment here, just seeing it from the other side, and hopefully we get some wins in Milwaukee."

Whether the change of scenery is good for Gonzalez, whether it resurrects his wayward season and allows him to head into free agency on a positive note, remains to be seen. He's excited for the opportunity. He's also sorry to leave Washington with a sense of unfinished business.

"D.C. gave me a home," he said. "That's one thing I'll always be proud of and happy. D.C. will always be in my heart. I know where I'm headed. I think this is a good thing for me and my family."