Some Orioles-themed Christmas wishes

Made a rare appearance at a trivia night last week at Hoco Brew Hive in Ellicott City, where I learned that Santa’s reindeer are females. Had a 50-50 chance at getting it right and I blew it.

Male reindeer shed their antlers in November. Females keep theirs throughout the winter. How have I gone through life without knowing this?

Really makes you rethink “Vixen.”

I was correct, however, about the one red object in every Peanuts cartoon that is a different color in “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Answer below.

Our team finished in fourth place, just like the 2020 and 2022 Orioles. All of us outside the money.

Executive vice president/general manager Mike Elias won’t find a starting pitcher under his tree this morning. He might have more luck in free agency or the trade market. But it remains the No. 1 item on his list, especially with closer Craig Kimbrel signed for a guaranteed $13 million.

The Dodgers signed Yoshinobu Yamamoto to a 12-year, $325 million contract. Shohei Ohtani is costing them $700 million. OK, so not all shopping lists are alike.

If Santa’s lap could hold Félix Bautista, the Orioles’ reliever probably would ask for a speedy recovery from Tommy John surgery. With no setbacks or reasons why he couldn’t be ready for Opening Day 2025.

Give Austin Hays two productive halves to his season, free from the nagging injuries that he keeps fighting through to avoid the injured list.  A more realistic present than moving up the left field wall and removing the sharp bullpen angle, though he plays it with such skill.

Give Cedric Mullins his legs. Allow him to run and move without pain and restrictions. Let him be Cedric Mullins again.

Give James McCann an indestructible oblique. Injuries to it have put him on the IL the past two seasons.

Also, give McCann one bunt attempt that doesn’t have to be executed to avoid being nailed in the face with a fastball. Just one.

Give Kimbrel another shot at the postseason, where he owns a 4.50 ERA and 1.433 WHIP in 30 games and allowed four runs in three innings in this year’s National League Championship Series.

Give Gunnar Henderson a Gold Glove. Make it the utility one if he’s dividing his starts again on the left side of the infield.

Give Ryan Mountcastle a lot more than the 115 games he played in the regular season, with two stops on the IL with vertigo and inflammation in his left shoulder.

Give Ryan O’Hearn the same in 2024 that he got in 2023, except he won’t need another Comeback Player of the Year nomination. He’d just regift it to someone else.

Give Jackson Holliday a razor. He’s going to need it in a few years.

Give Adley Rutschman more swings in the Home Run Derby, where maybe he could switch from the left side to the right after each pitch.

Also, give Rutschman the Gold Glove so he can check off that box, too.

Give John Means 30-plus starts. No issues with his elbow, shoulder or back.

Good things should happen to good people. Give Means what he deserves.  

Give Heston Kjerstad as many plate appearances as it takes to hit the warehouse.

Give Coby Mayo as many plate appearances as it takes to hit the Hilton.

Give new pitching coach Drew French an assistant.

Give Dillon Tate a clean health slate, with a chance to regain his 2022 form.

Give DL Hall a healthy winter, spring, summer and fall, so he can pitch to his potential in whatever role.

Give Tyler Wells more fuel to keep moving through the second half, also enabling him to pitch to his potential in whatever role.

Give Grayson Rodriguez the ball in the first series against the Angels and get out of his way.

Give Joey Ortiz more than a passing glance.

Give Kyle Stowers better luck, at the plate and with his health.

Give manager Brandon Hyde a playoff opponent that isn’t on an unstoppable roll.

Give Baltimore the promise of an All-Star Game, with the next available date in 2027.  The city doesn’t need another “viable option” response.

It’s like an ugly tie. It’s baseball’s version of a fruitcake. Make it stop.

Give me another year with everyone here at SOR. But please, not another Pet Rock. The worst gift I ever received as a kid, to answer an old mailbag question.

Answer: Snoopy’s doghouse is blue, with a snow-covered roof.