Mancini and Ristano paired again in Home Run Derby

Chuck Ristano reached for his cell phone in an Atlanta airport, saw Trey Mancini's name on his screen and heard something that twisted his emotions into a jumble.

A cancer survivor and close friend probably needs to choose his words more carefully when starting a conversation.

"He called me and told me, 'Hey, this isn't public.' I had a moment of exhilaration, a moment of panic," said Ristano, who was on a recruiting trip after finishing his 11th season as Notre Dame's pitching coach.

"He caught me out of nowhere when he called me. It's not uncommon for Trey and I to connect, usually via text. I know how busy he is and how many people want a piece of him. But when it was a call, I'm probably super naïve, but I didn't connect what it could be. Considering what he had gone through in the last 24 months, my mind initially went to, I hope this isn't something bad. Obviously, it couldn't have been further from that.

"It was a little jolt to the system there in the airport. I tried to keep it together for the people in the terminal."

Mancini actually had wonderful news to share. He was invited to participate in the Home Run Derby that's part of the All-Star festivities in Denver. He was accepting the offer. And he wanted to keep a promise that he made to Ristano.

A year before the Orioles drafted Mancini in the eighth round, he won the 2012 Big East Conference's Home Run Derby with Ristano throwing to him. He shared their ensuing conversation with the Orioles media last week.

Ristano confirmed its accuracy and reveled in the retelling. Another chance to be transported back to one of the happiest moments of his professional life.

"That's how it went," he said. "I think a lot of times we romanticize the past to fit the narrative of today, but that's really like how it went. 'Hey man, if I ever get up there, you know it's going to be you.' And probably over the last eight or nine years when we have seen each other it's sporadically come up tongue in cheek.

"Obviously I was, 'Hell yeah, Trey, I'm super serious about doing it.' And when he called me, I was in the airport in Atlanta and I about fell over, you know? I was like, 'Yeah man, let's do it. Are you sure? There's a lot of people who throw batting practice to you that are really good. Are you sure you want to go this route?' And he was like, 'Yeah, I told you we would do it.'

"So, that's fact and it's come up multiple times over the years, even when participating in the big league Home Run Derby looked more like a dream than a reality. But that's the essence of Trey. Always remembers where he came from. He just stays so connected to all of us. I'm thrilled."

How many major league players can brag of having Derby experience in college? And of finishing ahead of the field?

"Trey and I, we just kind of had fun with it. 'Hey man, let's go do it.' It was fun to watch him get in a groove, be a part of it. You kind of get in the groove with him," Ristano said.

"Obviously, you want all eyes to be on the guy who's hitting. If you're doing your job, you're invisible, which is what I was aiming to be. But I just remember him putting on a show and obviously realizing this is a guy whose swing is made for this. We had a lot of fun with it. Both Trey and I are reasonably understated personalities. We came back into the dugout, flapping our gums a little bit at some teammates or maybe some opposition, having a little bit of fun, and he was just so good and so consistent, and he took it home that night.

"It was probably a little different atmosphere than we're going to confront in Denver, I would imagine, but it's just something that's always made me smile. We probably have more pride in that win than we're both willing to admit, because it sounds so silly, but if there's a winner and a loser, we want to win, so I was glad to play a very, very small part in that."

And not get noticed, which is impossible in the major leagues and on an ESPN telecast.

"I'm going to do my best to make myself as invisible as possible," he said.

The first shock to Ristano's system, beyond Mancini choosing to call rather than text, was the Derby itself. Next came the choice of pitcher.

"Total surprise," Ristano said. "I follow Trey, and admittedly, I'm a New Yorker so I'm a Yankee fan my whole life, and I think Mike Mussina should be in the Hall of Fame as a Yankee. But all joking aside, I didn't know. I knew he was having a great season, I was hoping that he'd get the nod All-Star wise or maybe even the Derby, but I had no idea.

"I said, 'Listen, I'm not going to tell anybody.' He said, 'Well, tell your wife and your boss,' and I was like, 'OK. And we'll keep a lid on it.' So, I get on a plane, and it probably took me the entire plane ride from Atlanta to South Bend to process. And by the time I got off the plane, it was out, so I felt a little more relieved. I just had to make sure my boss was cool with it and make sure my other boss who lives in my house, my wife, was cool with it. And of course, predictably, everybody was thrilled. But he caught me out of nowhere."

Nothing will ever compare to the day Ristano heard about Mancini's diagnosis of Stage 3 colon cancer. This time, the first baseman texted him. No voice on the other end. No way to brace for what was coming.

"I think it was probably a text he sent to his circle, maybe him not wanting some people to find out via what we'd see publicly," Ristano said. "He was specific but still not enough to where I could quite understand the significance of it. To me, Trey had become this larger-than-life figure that I knew as an 18-year-old, and he was so successful and bulletproof, to the point where everybody who met him loved him, everybody that had to pitch to him got smashed. He was just like, he was the guy you looked at like nothing bad is ever going to happen to this guy.

"When I did a little digging trying to figure out the significance of the diagnosis, I said to myself, a 26-, 27-year-old, they shouldn't go through this. But maybe again this was naïve on my part, but there wasn't a second of thought that he wouldn't be fine. I know that sounds crazy, but it's the honest truth. I never put two and two together like, there's some life-changing things that could happen here. To me it was just like, 'All right, well, he'll be on the injured list for 2020 and we'll see in '21.' I know that's there's more to it than that, but you just have faith in, like, mind, body, spirit, whatever it is.

"I knew how serious it was, but I didn't for a second doubt the fact that he was going to be right back here with us talking about him like we are. I wouldn't allow myself. 'He's fine, he's fine, he's going to be fine, this stinks, he's going to be fine.'"

Ristano was processing the news around the same time that former Notre Dame catcher Ricky Palmer, a year older than Mancini, was diagnosed with brain cancer. The walk-on, with one career hit, a double in his first at-bat, died in October 2019. He was 29.

"So we got hit with a cancer bug in our program for two guys in their 20s in a really short period of time," Ristano said. "And the last time I actually saw Trey was right at the end of his treatments at this kid's funeral in Chicago this fall, so it was a really tough stretch for us, but I never for a second thought Trey wasn't coming back. That's the honest truth. It's not some blowing my horn about my confidence in Trey like a coach will do. I just wouldn't allow myself.

"So, I'm excited that he's where it is now, but I can't tell you that I ever doubted it."

The school established a Ricky Palmer Memorial Scholarship Fund, and Mancini naturally has been instrumental in promoting it and raising money. Perhaps his way of both grieving and trying to help.

"He and Trey were tight," Ristano said. "Trey is a big part of what we're doing. Some of the money is going to our facility enhancements, some of it is going into a scholarship fund in his name. Trey has been a big piece in terms of letting people know it's there, and he's also been a big financial contributor."

Interviewer and subject agree that it's typical Mancini, it's who he is. How he was raised, the man he's become, the example he sets on a daily basis.

"It's funny because I don't think in his personality he is somebody who seeks attention," Ristano said. "You don't see a very large social media presence. I don't think he seeks it, but he's smart enough to know when the moment is his and when he has a chance to truly manipulate the moment for something better. And there's nothing disingenuous about him. From the story of, he told me I'm going to throw to him in the big league Home Run Derby, to his support for his teammate Ricky, to everything he's talking about right now.

"I wouldn't say he's not comfortable in the spotlight, he just doesn't seek it. But I do think beneath the surface of a wildly productive big league player, there's a guy who you'd want your children to emulate. You'd hope to be able to coach a million Trey Mancinis. He's just an incredibly high character person. I know sometimes we want to romanticize the story to fit the narrative, but this is as seamless as it gets. Trey is as authentic as the story is making him seem. And I've known him since he was 17, 18 years old.

"He's a regular guy, he hasn't lost that. You're not under the microscope here like a football player at Notre Dame is. We've got some attention on us locally. He got a little taste of what it's like to be in a monster athletic department, but nothing like being a big league player or the face of a franchise. I wouldn't call him an introvert, but if you gathered his teammates in a bar or a social setting, he's not the life of the party, he's one of the guys and everybody who's ever interacted with him just loves him. I don't think he's lost that.

"Nothing about being an adult and a pro with money, lots of outside noise, nothing about that seems to have impacted who he is at his core. My parents texted him after he came back. My parents. And he got right back to them. 'Hey Mrs. Ristano, thanks for thinking of me.' That's just who he is. I can't imagine how many people text him and the fact that he responds to all of them is unbelievable."

It becomes more understandable.

"You don't have to look very far. You look at his family, his parents, his sisters, they're how you draw it up," Ristano said.

"I know not all of us are lucky enough to have that kind of family support system, but they're how you would draw it up, hoping this is how it goes for your son. He's one of those people that it's kind of easy to wax poetic about. Every story you hear, every positive thing said about him, is probably true."

Ristano remembers Tony and Beth Mancini staying close to the Notre Dame program and their son's life, but never in an intrusive manner.

The distance wasn't an excuse to separate.

"His dad would come to batting practice and he was great," Ristano said. "He was always around but he would never interfere. You'd see him with his Notre Dame hat on and he'd walk past me, 'Hey, how's Trey's BP today?' I'd give him a thumbs up. 'OK, great.' He would come as much as he could, as much as a family from Florida could get to South Bend, Ind. And his mom was always there sitting somewhere else and cheering.

"I've got a lot of baseball behind me here at Notre Dame, but there are so many Trey things, independent of whether he would ever become a big leaguer or not. There are so many stories, little interactions, that stuck with you. I can think of just as many things that occurred or conversations had off the field that I can think of big hits he got for us. And he got a lot of big hits. I'm glad that the city loves him and he's having such a great experience there, because you can't help but just root for the dude.

"Him calling me and making me a part of this, that's one story of probably a million that people will never hear, his interaction with people. This is the big league Home Run Derby. Nobody really would have known on a national level about him taking up that Ricky Palmer cause, nobody really would have known his interactions with some of our current team members, that he'll text some guy, things like that. This is just one small story in a life lived full of those little interactions. High character, just tremendous decision-making.

"He's a guy you can root for without reservation, you can tell your kids about without reservation. I'm biased, but there's not enough of those guys out there."